ISFELD icebreaker

All movies are rated on a four star scale

Avatar

By: Will Tanner

I’ve never seen a movie that teeters on the line between awesome and awful as dangerously as Avatar does.  It has a stirring theme, and incredible special effects, but on the other hand, it self-sabotages itself throughout with the most half-assed script in Hollywood since The Phantom Menace.
 
Okay; everyone’s hyping this, so I might as well get it out of the way: Avatar is a visual masterpiece.  Ignoring the technical triumph that is the CGI, on an artistic level, the world of Pandora is gorgeous; every square inch of every surface is so dense with detail and the colours, ever vibrant, never fail to deliver an aesthetically orgasmic palette.  Suffice it to say, the imagery will keep you entertained despite the other shortcomings of the film.
 
This movie should also appear to tree-huggers and naturalists, largely due to its strong environmental and grass-roots themes.  It’s all about a space soldier that goes to fight the space Indians, only in a bizarre twist of events, becomes a space Indian and ends up fighting the space soldiers.  Sound familiar?  Well then perhaps you’ve seen Dances With Wolves, which is the same movie set in the American Frontier.  I mean, sure, the movie is resonant, but you will find far better representations of its morals in kids’ flicks like Ferngully and Pocahontas.
 
The script was a lazy attempt by the director to deliver the same movie we’ve seen a million times.  The dialogue is trite, and the “science” aspect of the science fiction is under-developed (to the point where the audience is left debating how the technology worked, which is weird, because as it is, the movie is already packed full of forced exposition).  There are inconsistencies with the story, and the alien way of life was poorly thought out.

In short, Avatar was insulting to my intelligence and my sensibilities, and lost an uphill battle to ration, cleverness and delivery.  And yet, I can’t find it in myself to say I didn’t enjoy it.  I did.  Either that’s a testament to the profundity of the theme; still pertinent after years of Hollywood inundating us with it, or it’s a testament to the raw power of the visuals and their effect on the human mind.  I don’t know.

2 out of 4

Where the Wild things Are

By: Oliver Wynden

Having grown up with the original book, the prospect of seeing Maurice Sendak’s book adapted into a feature film really excited me. I was looking forward to being brought back to a place I cherished in my childhood. Sadly, “Where the Wild Things Are” fails to capture what the book offered, in both overall style and morals. The film struggles to focus on who it’s catering to. There is humor so silly and childish at points you almost feel out of place watching it. Thankfully, director Spike Jonze brings a definitive artistic energy to the movie unseen in most Hollywood schlock. Aside from the pretty things appearing on the screen however, there isn’t much to absorb. The movie straddles the line between adult and kid’s cinema, and leaves both sides wanting more.
** ½ Stars

Zombieland

By: Oliver Wynden

As a zombie enthusiast, I’m often disappointed by horrendously unoriginal zombie films that are as pathetic as their budgets. Zombieland pits four unique characters travelling across the United States together in search of friends, family and Twinkies™. Zombieland has a brilliant blend of yuks and yucks, which, for the most part, provide hilarious dark humour. Combining gory violence with the consistent wit, the movie harkens back to “Shaun of the Dead”. But when we do get a repose from Woody Harrelson’s antics, the fun doesn’t stop. With surprisingly clever comedy and an unexpected cameo,” Zombieland” is sure to please.
*** Stars

Gamer

By: Oliver Wynden

Though I actively dislike many of Gamer’s aspects, the one that stands out most would have to be that some people actually enjoyed it. I’m really tired of hearing people say that if you “like playing a good match of Halo, it is worth seeing,” or “on the horny teenage boy level, it’s kickass.” I have come to you here today, as a gamer and arguably a horny teenage boy, to tell you that Gamer is worse than senior swim night at the aquatic centre.

As a teenage gamer, I am sick of my demographic being spoken for: “If you like action movies and like videogames, you should see Gamer.” That is wrong. If you like action movies and love videogames, you should watch Die Hard and play more videogames. If there is a common stereotype among popular culture, it’s that it is easy to make fun of gamers. It is unacceptable that people assume we will write off terrible acting, mindless special effects, and an incoherent narrative just because it’s about gamers. That’s like saying couples would automatically enjoy Couples Retreat. Here’s a crazy thought: stop making terrible movies just to appeal to a specific demographic and start making good movies that everyone will want to see.

This would be the part where I’d normally summarize the plot, but since I could find none, I’ll cut to the chase: I would not even recommend watching Gamer while comatose. It’s not one thing that makes Gamer terrible, just like it’s probably not one specific thing that made Mr. Holland bald. It’s a blend of a plot conceived by someone with so little brain function that they would be pronounced clinically dead, acting that is on par with a first-grade play, a laughable attempt at a gritty dystopian world and an atrocious editing style that makes this sentence feel coherent.

Gamer really is the epitome of everything that is wrong with Hollywood. It feels as if Gamer was created by incompetent thirteen-year-olds that feed off society’s misery and anguish. If you hate yourself, Gamer is a must see.
1/2 Star